Survey...

We have to write a "birth parent letter" that will be posted online on itsaboutlove.com for any potential birth parents that may look at our profile. From reading our birth parent letter and reading about us and our family they can decide if we might be a family they would like to consider. This idea of writing to an unknown birth parent, and saying the right thing, has really stumped me and I've been sitting on it for quite some time. I thought I'd survey all of you, petitioning for any ideas or advice about what you would write....Thank you all ahead of time for your input!! :)

Christmas is torture :(

Due to various reasons:

*My lack of being prepared ahead of time

*My family of origin's tradition of waiting until Christmas Eve (after the kids are in bed) to put out the gifts

*My kids' former belief in Santa (they found out last year)

We have waited, for the most part, until Christmas Eve to put out any presents. Well, for some reason (partly because they know about Santa), this year, I decided to put out presents as we wrap them or as they got sent to us. So for weeks now there have been presents under our tree and slowly accumulating more. After the first few were there BR comes to me and asks if they can open their presents. I tell him that we are going to wait for Christmas just like we always do and he proceeds to get all teary eyed, with the trembling lip and all. Similarly, MC has spent hours looking at the presents, shaking the presents, speculating which ones are legos for BR (which she's determined to be most of them, even the ones that are clothes or books), wondering which presents are hers (we don't have labels on most of our presents) and bemoaning the fact that she wishes they could open them now or that Christmas would hurry up. These behaviors, which were very unexpected (I somehow forgot that we'd never done it this way before and expected my kids to think it completely normal), has sparked conversations about different traditions/practices. My MIL mentioned how she never put names on her presents either and how she figured it added to the excitement, wonder and anticipation for her kids. We decided to find out what ML thought of it when he was a kid. He said it was pure torture.

A bonus day off!!

Today I was supposed to work, cleaning just one house (4 hours). Today was going to be one of my easier days. Tuesdays we clean "Bedrock Quartz" a 4000 square foot space with offices/showroom/break rooms/bathrooms. Wednesday I went to one client for 3 hours and then downtown to a sweet old lady's house named Zoe (my brother-in-law's grandma). I had 2 hours to spend there before picking up my kids but she spent the first 45 minutes walking around the house with me while she pointed at odd things she wanted moved from one room to the next and mostly telling me anything that came to her mind about herself or her life, in the exact order in which it came to her, which happened to be quite haphazardly. She also proceeded to give me a bag full of stuff, collecting things from every room and telling me I was going to "love her". My brother-in-law told me to just accept whatever she gave me and dispose of them after as I saw fit, so I felt obliged to accept everything from romance novels, to avon face creams (she sells avon, or rather gives away avon :P ), to an old apron she made, to old beat up fuchsia glass ornaments. At one point she asked me if I like face creams and despite my inner struggle (an angel on one side telling me to be nice and let her be happy and give me stuff while the angel on the other side is telling me not to take all of this nice lady's things, all the while there's a devil in back of me asking me what I'm going to do with all this crap!) I tell her "sure, face cream is nice" and she looks at me and says you'll take anything I'll give you, won't you?? I feel like a big heel then because in my trying to be nice I've come across as a big ol' mooch! Anyway, she finally lets me get to work and I'm frantically cleaning to get done everything she wanted because I now only have an hour and fifteen before I have to leave to pick up my kids from school, and as I'm vacuuming like a mad woman I start to wheeze and cough. I suddenly realize that vacuuming up all the cat hair in her house set off my allergy induced asthma (that only happens when I'm around a cat...but usually it takes much longer). My reaction is so bad that I'm still getting over it 2 days later. ML tells me he can't let me go back to her house anymore to clean. :/ So then Thursday I spent 7 hours at another clients house (thankfully she doesn't have a cat), she wants her house deep cleaned from top to bottom before her baby comes in 3 weeks!! So anyway, a mere 4 hours at the house I had today was going to be a breeze. Well....I'm finally coming to my point :P....when we get up this morning BR tells us that he feels sick to his stomach and MC's got quite a cough (not to mention that there's a blizzard outside) so we decide to take the day off. Which ends up being good because by the time ML went to leave for work the car wouldn't start, and I believe at this minute he's still trying to fix it (he got it to start by replacing the battery but now he's stranded in a parking lot and his mom brought him some tools and they're trying to fix it...thank goodness for moms!!) So now, thanks to my kids, I get to stay home and wait for my king size birthday present to myself to be delivered. Yipee! :)

Big Scary Santa

We had my family Christmas party on Saturday and my mom had arranged for her brother, who is at least 6'6", to show up at the party dressed as Santa and bring gifts for all the little kids and give them all a chance to sit on their lap and tell him what they wanted for Christmas. The kids all had such varied reactions to him it was pretty hilarious! First of all, Santa himself was a hoot. My uncle is an interesting character and I guess he was trying to talk in an old grandpa voice but the effect was kind of a wobbly, high pitched sound that didn't quite sound right, even to the kids. Then the beard/hair my mom gave him to wear was so slick that it kept slipping around and he couldn't keep his hat on and further it was so bushy that he couldn't even see properly through all his hair.
So he came walking in the front door and one of my 2 year old nephews walks straight up to him and says, "Are you big?" We all bust up at that but he's fearless. He sits on Santa's lap and proceeds to ask Santa what he wants for Christmas. After the first little guy is done, Santa asks in his high, wobbly voice if the other kids would like to sit on his lap and my other 2 year old nephew starts crying and shaking his head and runs to his mama. MC was watching all of this dubiously and quite unsure how she feels about the whole thing and it doesn't help when she sees other kids crying and running to mom. So she comes and sits next to me and asks me who it is. I tell her that it's Santa and she reminds me that she found out last year that we are Santa (mom/dad). So she tells me that it's Papa (my dad) but I point out my dad in the hall and that puts her a little over the edge and she starts to cry also. I whisper in her ear and tell her who he really is but tell her to keep it a secret. After that she's barely ok with going up to sit on his lap and talk to him, just long enough to say that she wants a dolly for Christmas and get her present from him, but she keeps her eyes straight ahead the entire time.
One of my older nieces who is notoriously shy (she's BR's age) surprises me by prancing up to him with a big grin on her face and sits on his lap for a while and tells him all about what she wants for Christmas (she however has known for several years the truth about Santa so it must have seemed like a big game to her).
BR didn't seem much affected by the whole thing, he was excited to get his gift and tell Santa what he wants but I couldn't tell what he thought about the whole thing till this afternoon when he brought it up again. He mused, "I wonder who that Santa really was at Grandma's house. MC looked at me with a twinkle in her eye...thrilled to be in on the secret.
All of this brought back memories of my childhood when we'd have a Santa come visit at some party or other...it always freaked me out a bit too.

Simple Pleasures for Simple People

A few of my sisters and I were in Venice last month with our husbands and our parents. In the main square of Venice, millions of pigeons congregate and wait for tourists to buy seed and feed them. Most of the tourists are mild mannered, proper and respectable...well not us. We had to go and make a scene and terrorize those poor pigeons. It was great fun. :D

I think it's in the water....

Gettin' pregnant??? well we all know that I wish. ;) It does seem to be in the water, but I think we must have our own well. Someday. But for now, it seems going back to work is in the water. Several months ago, in the late spring, or before, I decided that my life was too crazy with homeschooling, and cleaning for several clients, along with the normal things of being a mom. So we let everybody know that we were quiting. We kept only one which we'd do one night a week. (By Bro-in-laws business). It was very refreshing to "quit" after cleaning since 2000, I felt free. Well one client we had just couldn't seem to accept "no" for an answer. She called me several times just to see if I'd change my mind. I finally caved last month when she called again (besides, I thought it would be nice to have the extra cash). I went into it knowing she was a once a month client and with the understanding that she'd call when she wanted me to come back, so I didn't feel like I was making a huge time commitment. While cleaning for her she mentions that she has several neighbors who are in need of a new "cleaning lady" and that she'll give them my number if I'd like. I tell her I'll think about it. Afterward, as I start to remember the great feeling of having extra cash on hand, the possibility of adding some more clients to my schedule sounds better and better to me. Before I have a chance to make a decision I get a call from another previous client telling me that she heard I might be back in business and wondering if I might come back. In light of my thoughts on getting more clients and my difficulty with saying “no” I tell her I will, and we make a plan for every Thursday. Shortly after that I get another call from an acquaintance wondering if I’m still accepting clients and would I clean for her. I figure it’s downhill from there…once I say yes to one person I really don’t know how to say no. We set her up for every other Friday. Sometimes I think I’m getting too old for this. ;) But on the other hand, I appreciate the workout and I’ve gotten far too sedentary lately. And the problem now is that in my mind I’ve already “spent” about a years’ worth of my new cash flow and so getting myself in deeper and deeper gets easier and easier.

Things I’ve already “spent” my money on:
 A King Size Bed
 Dresser
 A rocking chair
 Desk for the study
 Chairs for the living room
 Paint
 Shutters
 Finishing our loft

The list goes on and on and on….

Halloween in December :P

I was going through some pics and decided to share some.
These are of my family on Halloween.
ML was "Harry Potter all grown up and working as an Auror"
BR was "Captain Atom" (Never heard of him before this and BR kept telling me he wanted to be Captain Autumn (that's how he was saying it) and I thought: what kind of super-hero would call him/her self after the fall?!!?!)
MC was a Jeanie or something like that...we got her outfit in Turkey and thought she'd really dig it but she was terribly embarrassed that she was not something readily identifiable and that she had to explain to everybody what she was. (I thought it was cute and kind of reminded me of that show that was on when I was a kid: I dream of Jeanie).
I was "Karate Kid" but forgot to take any pics. :)

Great Expectations

I just finished Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens. I found it a fascinating book, with interesting twists and turns in the plot, and marvelous characters. I wondered to myself during the book why I found it so dull in 7th grade when we had to read some sort of abridged version from a text book. I wondered if the wording was changed, or maybe some of the plot was lost...or perhaps I have matured a bit in my span of interests and depth of understanding. :P I venture that there are elements of all three involved. Nevertheless, I very much enjoyed the book and would highly recommend it if you haven't read it. I must warn you though, if you aren't interested in books that are sad or tragic, you probably would not like this one.

As I pondered on the sadness of much of Pip's (he's the main character by the way) life, caused by both circumstances and poor choices, it reminds me of the tragic events (some quite recent) that have occurred in the lives of a few members of my family. It tears my heart out to see people I love experience pain and heartache. I wish I could take it all away for them and fix all their problems, but alas I am powerless to do much besides offer compassion and a listening ear. As I compare such adversity to the misfortunes that happened to Pip (as well as other players in "Great Expectations"), I look at how it shaped his character and eventually made a difference in his choices and his heart. Because of the growth he experienced, it would seem that such tragedy is not for naught, but sometimes I still wonder at the price that must be paid to gain those gems of character. Do you think that "the refiners fire", as it were, is the only way to glean the moral jewels found in the hearts of people who have endured great trials? Is there no other way to cultivate character? What are your thoughts?

Late Night Addictions

I've determined that being a night person is quite a serious addiction for me. I believe it is as intense as any drug addiction and has many of the same side effects. First of all, I know it's not healthy for me. More often than not it means I miss out on valuable sleep when I stay up late because there are things that require me to be up early (namely appointments, or taking my kids to school) and when its daytime I think myself an utter fool and feel less than great because of my lack of sleep. And yet when it becomes night again there is something very seductive for me that lures me into staying up longer, and longer, and longer still. Further, I know that I'll regret it later, but this knowledge still fails to deter the behavior. There has even evolved a physical reaction, similar to a high, that occurs in my body to being awake at late hours. This physical "high" has led to many late night cleaning frenzies, admittedly this is when I feel most like cleaning my house, or embarking on any other project. My body has adapted to staying up because this has been my habit for as long as I can remember. I have memories of my dad sneaking into my bedroom to tell me to go to sleep in the middle of the night when I was not past 5 years old when all my siblings were sleeping in the room around me. One of my younger sisters reminds me of "exclusive celebrations" she and I would have in the middle of the night, just to celebrate a new month.

For the past year I have been seeking to metamorphose myself into a morning person (well this has been a wish for several years but lately an increasingly larger goal), and have made some progress, but again feel like a struggling addict. With the slightest slip, or taste of late hours, I feel overwhelming temptations to slip back into my old late-night-self, I too frequently succumb to such temptations and begin anew the struggle within myself to transform into a creature of the morning. I'm tempted by anything really...a project, hanging out with people, folding laundry, cleaning, cooking, catching up on emails, my blog... And so here I am at 1:00 am writing about battling my addiction rather than sleeping. ;) On that note, I will bid you good night...or rather good morning to all you morning people.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder...

We got back from CO last night around 10 p.m. And all in all it was a good weekend and we were glad that we were able to make it to CO for all the festivities there. We had fun hanging out with everybody, and ML had a good time with my family, but we both were surprised at how *much* we missed each other. Not that we didn't think we would, but we both agreed that it just doesn't seem much like a holiday when we're not with each other. No matter where we are or who we are with. I also realized that I would have hated Europe without him (he thought about not going at the last minute, and I was going to go with or without him and maybe invite someone else to use his tickets). I wouldn't say we quite take each other for granted, but not having something, or someone, definitely makes you realize how much you appreciate it when you do.